ONLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KICK YOUR OWN BUT!!!
We are all partners in this world. We share all the resources, not always willingly. We are each a resource in our own capacity. We share what we have, what we’ve learned, what we’ve seen or heard, everything we’ve experienced (good or bad), what we’ve touched, how we’ve felt, what we’ve rejoiced over, cried about and laughed at. We share ourselves! We share who we are. We share who we would like to be. We share our dreams and aspirations, our fears and misgivings.
We share all these things without ever mentioning “ME”. Who we are comes out in every phrase we utter, in the expression on our faces, in the way we hold our mouths, raise our eyebrows, bite our lips, in our posture and how we position ourselves when others are near. We share our personal growth, or lack thereof, continuously with others by being who we are.
Would you like to be a positive influence for the personal growth of those near you? Do you befriend, love and nurture those around you? Do you actively contribute to the mental, emotional and spiritual growth of those you interact with everyday? You CAN!! We CAN!! Practice and exercise your YESAND.
DO NOT STICK YOUR BUT IN WHERE IT DOES NOT BELONG
YESAND is the polar opposite of NOBUT. YESBUT is only slightly better than NOBUT. Use of the word “but” instantly raises an objection to the words, thoughts, opinions or ideas expressed and sends a message to the speaker that they are not valued or at least are valued less than the one interjecting their “but”. Using “but” in any conversation sends a negative message which will do irreparable damage to the present exchange of information and knowledge. Permanently remove “but” from your vocabulary. Consciously refrain from using “but” in any sentence as it will kill any further interpersonal exchange.
HARNESS THE POWER OF YESAND AND REMOVE YOUR BUT FROM YOUR HEAD
When our spouse, child, friend, coworker, boss, partner, colleague, associate or acquaintance reveals who they are and how they feel in conversation with us the most potent response is simply “YES”. We all share who we are along with the words, thoughts, opinions and ideas expressed. We must practice responding only to the person revealing themselves to us. A reply to the content of the conversation can wait as the words, thoughts, opinions and ideas expressed are fleeting and changeable and therefore irrelevant. The person speaking, however, is who they are at the moment and they need our recognition and validation. Our YESAND.
“YES” AND an encouraging affirmation such as “YES” AND I like how you approached that!’”, can cement friendships, unlock the potential in an employee, supercharge a meeting, facilitate idea exchange, smooth out disagreements, refocus a group on the issues at hand, even mend a broken heart!
Replying with “YES” implies “I like who you are. I validate who you are. I understand who you are and where you are coming from. I believe in you. I trust you. I hear you. I agree with you.” On hearing a positive affirmation, this “YES”, we are allowed to self-apply that we are liked, validated, understood, believed in, trusted and heard. Is there anything more powerful than that?
We all need to feel a part of something bigger than ourselves. We all need validation that it’s OK to be who we are right now. We need to know it’s acceptable to feel what we feel, to express our opinions, our needs and desires, to say what we think. We need confirmation that we have value, that we are a valuable and respected resource in each others lives.
Yes, when we share who we are with others we need “YES” AND we need it quickly and often. We need encouragement and interest and nurturing and caring and validation and it is conveyed by “YES” AND it’s powerful.
The most powerful influence for well-being we can exercise with our mates, families, friends, partners and coworkers is to validate their existence. YES AND there is nothing more potent than to positively affirm that their presence in our lives encourages us, motivates us, supports us, cheers us up, gives us confidence, helps us to grow to become the person we want to be, to be a better person than we would be without them in our lives.
OWYN LLC ©2009 Douglas Halfpenny
